Warranty, Warrantee, and the War on Words

Published: April 2, 2025

You ever get in an argument with someone about a word — not a concept, not a belief — a literal word, and realize halfway through they don’t even know how to read? Yeah, me too. Too often. And I’m sick of it. We’ve got people out here ready to throw hands over the difference between warranty and warrantee, and yet they’ve never cracked a dictionary — let alone read the fine print that either word is printed in. They just feel like they’re right, and in America, feelings have become the new facts. > “It’s spelled how I say it, and I’m saying it confidently, so it must be correct.” Congratulations. You’ve weaponized your own ignorance and declared war on language. And I’m the last guy standing on the battlefield with a Thesaurus and a migraine. The sad truth? Reading comprehension in this country is a joke. And the punchline is us — the folks who actually read and understand and try to communicate clearly. We’re ridiculed, called “grammar police,” “elitist,” or “too technical” — when all we’re trying to do is not sign the wrong damn contract because someone confused warranty (a promise) with warrantee (the person that promise is made to). Yeah, they’re different. Yes, it matters. And no, I’m not the crazy one for knowing that. So go ahead. Laugh at Common Joe for his obsession with the details. But when your washing machine explodes and you call the “warrantee,” don’t be surprised when she doesn’t answer — because she’s you. --- Signed, Your favorite tech-whispering, dictionary-wielding madman of modern America: Crazed Common Joe

– Common Joe